When things don’t go as planned, I’m learning to FRAME things differently. — I press ‘end call,’ set my phone down, and stare at it in disbelief. My heart is thumping, and with it, a spot at the base of my skull is keeping time. Removing my glasses, I rub my eyes and then roll my head gently from side to side to…

But I’m worried my best friends won’t approve — I studied myself in the little visor mirror in my car, unsure of what I was hoping to see. Courage? A glimpse into my soul, perhaps? They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but my gaze didn’t seem to reach that far. I closed the visor with…

My Grandmother’s spirit helped me uncover the truth — Sitting on a pew in the middle of an ancient church, I envision my grandmother standing up front as a young bride decades ago. Saint Martin’s Church is ornate, beautiful, and old. Built in the 18th Century, it has become a historical tourist site in Sumartin, on the island of…

It was a difficult secret to keep — One night, as I mindlessly brushed my teeth, the love of my life uttered a statement that caused me to question who I’d been sleeping beside all these years. After five years together, I thought I knew her well, but all that came into question one rainy January night. A…

Then I lost him at church — When I chose to attend Western Washington University, it was based on one thing, and one thing only: Western was on Playboy Magazine’s list of top ten party schools. I never saw the list, but I heard about it. Though Playboys littered my brother’s room as a teenager, I didn’t…

Here’s how I shifted the narrative — People often discuss daddy issues when describing a woman’s dating behavior, but there isn’t much talk about the mother wound. I’m glad to see a few women on Medium writing about it because many women, including me, quietly struggle with it. Simply put, the mother wound speaks to a loss…

Strong connections can continue even after death — Her perfume lingered in the room as I sipped my coffee. It was a typical rainy morning in the Pacific Northwest, and I was grateful for the ease of my gas fireplace to ward off the chill. The subtle whiff of her perfume startled me initially, and I wondered if…

How I broke free and why gay marriage is worth protecting — We proceeded single file through the metal detector after placing our cell phones in a plastic bin. The middle-aged security guard appeared bored and slightly annoyed as we passed by him. We were directed into a hallway with about 20 others and told to wait. We stood nervously, frequently searching…

Here’s why my unlikely infatuation has continued for years — Recalling the exact moment I fell for Tom Cruise is easy. I reluctantly agreed to see Top Gun in 1986 because I love fighter jets. Every year when I was a kid, on the 4th of July, the Blue Angels would fly over my Grandmother’s house in the north end…